Hello Fear*
Before you sit down there’s something I need to explain
Since you’re here
I think I should tell you since we last talked things have changed
See I’m tired of being broken-hearted
So I made a list and you’re on it
All my hopes and my dreams You took from me
I want those back before you leave

Hello Fear
I knew I would see you, You have a hard time letting go
See these tears,Take a good look cuz, soon they wont fall anymore
God’s healing my hurful places
That seat that was yours now is taken
I’m no longer afraid,See I’m better this way
And one more thing before you leave

Never again will I love you
My heart it refuses to be your home
No longer your prisoner
Today I remember
Apart from you is where I belong

And never again will I trust you
I’m tired of fighting it’s been way too long
No longer your prisoner
Today I remember
Who I was and now it’s gone
They’re gone
Hello Fear

Farewell Goodbye So long

Hello Grace
It feels like forever, I thought my chance with you was gone
See your face, it reminds me of mercy
And please let me say I was wrong
Never knew your touch was endless
How you never run dry of forgiveness
Didn’t know how bad it was, was afraid just because
Sorry fear, grace took your place

Farewell Goodbye So long m

Hello Fear
Before you sit down there’s something I need to explain

Someone asked me how do you know you really love someone? My response was that there is no particular criteria or checklist or formula to figure out if you love someone. You have to go with what you feel. Loving someone is serious but so many people throw it around so frivolously. Me personally, when I love a person, i feel like I’m high on life. If I’m in love, I feel like I’m 10 feet tall and and I could fly. I literally feel like I’m flying. My outward appearance will also show that I’m in love. I would literally glow on the outside. I would be constantly singing love songs, thinking of that person always and I would smile every time I thought about that person. Certain situations that may have caused me to get upset would be non-existent. But everyone is different and those are just some of my characteristics while in love. Loves patient, love is kind and love is true. Love is not boastful or loud. Love is humble. Love is understanding. Love is so many different things to so many people. Love is universal.

It’s a great feeling to feel free from your own insecurities and you can focus on the important things.  Life is like finger nails.  They can become rigid, uneven, and broken.  Some people are like the nail file and buffer; they’re rough and brash.  However, once they rub up against you, you’re polished and smooth while they remain torn, rough, and ugly. 

Symptoms of Groupthink

1. Illusion of invulnerability –Creates excessive optimism that encourages taking extreme risks.
2. Collective rationalization – Members discount warnings and do not reconsider their assumptions.
3. Belief in inherent morality – Members believe in the rightness of their cause and therefore ignore the ethical or moral consequences of their decisions.
4. Stereotyped views of out-groups – Negative views of “enemy” make effective responses to conflict seem unnecessary.
5. Direct pressure on dissenters – Members are under pressure not to express arguments against any of the group’s views.
6. Self-censorship – Doubts and deviations from the perceived group consensus are not expressed.
7. Illusion of unanimity – The majority view and judgments are assumed to be unanimous.
8. Self-appointed ‘mindguards’ – Members protect the group and the leader from information that is problematic or contradictory to the group’s cohesiveness, view, and/or decisions.

When the above symptoms exist in a group that is trying to make a decision, there is a reasonable chance that groupthink will happen, although it is not necessarily so.  Groupthink occurs when groups are highly cohesive and when they are under considerable pressure to make a quality decision.  When pressures for unanimity seem overwhelming, members are less motivated to realistically appraise the alternative courses of action available to them.  These group pressures lead to carelessness and irrational thinking since groups experiencing groupthink fail to consider all alternatives and seek to maintain unanimity.  Decisions shaped by groupthink have low probability of achieving successful outcomes.

Remedies for Groupthink

Decision experts have determined that groupthink may be prevented by adopting some of the following measures:

      a) The leader should assign the role of critical evaluator to each member

      b) The leader should avoid stating preferences and expectations at the outset

      c) Each member of the group should routinely discuss the groups’ deliberations with a trusted associate and report back to the group on the associate’s reactions

      d) One or more experts should be invited to each meeting on a staggered basis.  The outside experts should be encouraged to challenge views of the members.

      e) At least one articulate and knowledgeable member should be given the role of devil’s advocate (to question assumptions and plans)

      f) The leader should make sure that a sizeable block of time is set aside to survey warning signals from rivals; leader and group construct alternative scenarios of rivals’ intentions.

-Just food for thought…

25. What do you think it means to be a good parent?

Being a good parent depends on what relationship you have with your child.  I have no children so I am not by any means necessarily appropriate to answer this question; I am only answering from how I would raise my children.  My views may change. To be a good parent is to set boundaries with your children in the beginning. Communicating what you expect from them from the jump. That way your child would not be confused on what to expect from you.  With that, in my opinion, your child will know when you are pleased with their performance and when you are not.  I believe discipline is definitely needed once your child does something that is not pleasing and they are aware of what they’ve done.  Of course I’m speaking of a child who is under the age of 18.  In my opinion, setting boundaries with your child is important.  They should understand that you are the parent and they are the child, you are not their friend.  As a good parent, we are simply here to give direction into their life as they are figuring out who they are. I believe a good parent should set appropriate boundaries.  I think a good parent is a protector, provider, a comforter and someone their child could confide in without being judged.  I don’t ever want to judge my children.  I would want them to understand that they could talk to me. I may not agree with the decisions they make, but I would at least hear them out; I would never judge their character and who they are as people.  I think a good parent would allow their kid to be who they are as long as it’s not causing harm to themselves or others or doing anything that can cause great consequence and as long as they’re respectful.  I think making my child into a cookie cutter image of someone else is not cool.  I feel that its ok for a child to have a role model,  but pushing them into something because you want them to be a certain way is not cool in my opinion. Once again, these are opinions, not facts. Everyone is different and of course will have different views.

The angst that I was feeling a few days ago is no longer there.  I’ve realized so many things within this week.  I’m learning to focus on the things, events, and the people that bring happiness into my life.  I’m learning to listen to my body when it tells me enough is enough with the stress.  After studying my body, I am able to listen to it when it tells me to sit down and relax.  I’m learning that I’m not made to please everyone. I can love you, but it doesn’t mean I have to please you.  Certain people only deserve a certain amount when another deserves the full amount.  The other person could be you!  I’ve learned that when you place all of your energy into a person or a thing, you forget who you are.  However, sometimes being broken down is the best thing to happen to you because its a time to reflect and rebuild.

24. Are you more social or independent? Why do you think that is?

I think I’m probably more independent than social, however, I am not uncomfortable in social settings.  I don’t like too many people in my circle because there is more room to kick up dust.  For me, being independent in certain situations works best for me because I know exactly how I want certain things and an extra person or people just might get in the way.  I like being in social settings when I want to chill, hang out or when I really need someone to talk to.  I am not the type to feel like I MUST be around people to survive. Nor do I feel like I need to be pacified by others to feel good about myself.  All in all, I feel like I may have an even amount of being social and independent now that I think about it.

23. Explain your life plan for the next month, then the next year, then three years, then five years.

Hmmmm, a timeline on my life? Ok. Well in the next month I plan on successfully completing my first year of grad school! It’s a been a long haul.  This year has been tough period. But for the next month, I plan on relaxing after I finish this session out.  I plan on reconnecting with friends and focusing on positive things that brings me much joy for the next month. The next year I plan on successfully finishing grad school, quitting my current job, moving to another state, and finding a job where I can challenge myself.  I plan on being happy and in healthy relationships.  The next three years, I plan on getting married and enjoying my husband. I plan on owning our own home with a nice yard to hold gatherings for family and friends.  I plan on making a budget and a plan with my husband to prepare for the following years.  In the next five years, I plan on working on my first child if I haven’t already ;0).  I plan on being able to manage my household and caring for my husband and our child.  Depending on where my husband and myself are, I may go back to school to receive my PhD. Who knows?

22. How do you think people see you? Be a little negative and a little positive.

I think people may see me as sarcastic, motivated, giving, selfish, loving, nice, mean, hard, soft, arrogant, humble…

Many people see me as different things.  People who truly know me for who I am and what I’m about, they know that I’m honest, caring, loving, empathetic,  loyal, hard- working, helpful, dependable, and motivated.  Those are the positive things.  The negative views would include being nonchalant, sarcastic at times, (wrong timing), highly emotional in stressful situations, too particular,  and “stupid nice”. All of these views are from people that I’ve known for years, so it is not just my thoughts.  People are always going to see you in whatever light they want to see you in.  However, you have to determine what picture you’re painting for them.

21. Look back. Why did you choose this challenge? Do you think it says anything about you?

I chose this challenge because writing things down and reading them gives me a clearer picture of who I am and what I represent.  It wasn’t necessarily for others to get to know me if they cared to, because this challenge hasn’t scratched the surface of my life and who I am.  This was simply a task for myself because I know what else is underneath the surface.  I think the challenge does somewhat give a picture of who I am in a sense.